


Out of Order

by MiniNephthys



Category: Shin Megami Tensei II
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-08
Updated: 2012-07-08
Packaged: 2017-11-09 10:25:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/454435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiniNephthys/pseuds/MiniNephthys
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aleph explains the impracticalities of sex on a terminal.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Out of Order

The hazards of going to bars for information is that a lot of people will, at any given point in time, be drunk.

"Hey sugar baby," a man calls out to Aleph, or at least in Aleph's general direction. "I'd like to bend you over one of those terminals and takes you for a ride that's way outta town, if you know what I mean."

Aleph counts to ten silently, turns, and starts to speak.

"Terminals work by plugging into them, not by just pressing random buttons: I plug into them with my arm terminal, which would make sex on top of them extremely uncomfortable if not impossible. Furthermore the jack is on the far right, which would put you up next to a railing and give you incredible chafing.

"The position called 'riding', which by the way contradicts bending me over like you said, requires a flat, mostly horizontal surface for the penetrating person to lay on, which the terminal is not. You could try ending up with the imprint of buttons all over your behind, but you still wouldn't have a good position for any kind of sex.

"Terminals accept the transportation of demons within COMPs along with the person jacked into them, and they also accept humans holding hands with the first one as valid passengers. They do not accept humans with their dicks in the first one, so you'd be left with your dick out and nowhere to put it in. Not to mention how your unfortunate partner would end up.

"And finally, the Millenium Center scientists who developed the terminals would kill you for getting anything on them."

The rest of the bar (the sober part, at least) breaks into applause, while the first man looks confused as he tries to follow all of that. "Hey, how do you know all of...?" he asks.

"Because I'm not drunk out of my mind," Aleph answers, and turns away from him to the original person he was talking to, a blond man.

Louis is trying to contain his laughter. "Nicely put, Aleph. But, you know..." A wicked gleam comes to his eye. "Terminal stones lack many of the issues you mentioned."

"I'm not sure I believe that." Pause. "I'd have to test it to make sure you're not just messing with me."

"Really, I would never. Shall we plan for Yesod to Kether?" Louis asks.

Aleph smiles. "Why limit ourselves to one stop? I'll meet you in the Abyss and we'll discuss it more there."

They pay for their drinks and leave separately. Before he goes, Aleph buys his drunken suitor another drink out of thanks for the man getting him laid tonight.

Half an hour later, as the world swims around him for reasons more familiar than being screwed senseless, Aleph clings tighter to Louis's back and hopes that everyone believes the 'out of order' signs outside the doors.

Then Louis does something interesting with his hips, and they switch locations again, and Aleph stops worrying.


End file.
